Thought about posting this on r/narcissisticparents but then thought it would go good here too.
So basically whenever me and my husband either go to have sex, are HAVING sex, or just finished sex, SOMEONE out of our families (95% mainly my narcmom) will call our phones. Be it mobiles or landlines…they will CALL!
Like every time.
I think they have sixth sense of when we’re ready to get down and dirty and they NEED to call to interrupt.
People who call during sexy time – My Mother,
In this case, it was my mother (as per usual).
So husband and I had literally just finished, but he hadn’t pulled out yet, when my phone buzzed once.
I burst out laughing and hubby falls down ontop of me in a “Like, Really?!” kind of reaction.
It didn’t buzz again so I was hoping it was just a text….but as I said; this is my mother and she just CAN NOT let me fuck in peace!
So my phone starts buzzing again and (him still inside me) I swipe left to end the call.
I can call back in a bit when we’re fully done.
Just as hubby pulls out and starts getting cleaned up, the landline rings!
And….there’s a voicemail on my phone.
God god, woman! Will you just piss-off?!
I let that one ring though as I am not running through my house starkers just to answer the phone post-coitus.
After getting sufficiently dressed, I ring back my mother’s number. Conversation goes as such;
Mother – “Heeeeeeeeeellllllloooo Magpi213!! How aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrreee you?”
Oh god, she’s sloshed.
Me – “I’m fine thankyou mother, how are you?”
Mother “How are yooooooooooouu and hubby dooooing?”
My mother has just interrupted our sex-life (yet again), and she’s pissed. This is a new one for her.
Me (taking the mick a little) – “We’re goooooooood, thankyou!”
Mother – “Gooooood…..just wanted to let you know that I loooooooooooove yoooou! And I looooooooove hubby! And I can’t… (something inaudible) ….. and give you a huuuuuug!”
Me – “Yeah, you know the lockdown’s still on right, mother?”
Mother – *big breath* “Yeeesh, I knooooooow! But I can when itsh not! We’ve been talking to neighbours! We have new neighbours!”
Me – “Ok, mother.” (Twigging here she’s quite drunk) “How much have you had?”
Mother – “….Like….a bottle of….Ok, well, I loooooooove you! Be safe an seeeeee you soooooooon!”
Then she put the phone down.
My mother got drunk on one bottle of…whatever and interrupted us yet again.
Least we were finished this time.
Was it over though?
Of course not.
About 5 mins later, the house phone rings again. Hubbs calls to me as I go to answer; “Bet it’s MY mother!”
And it was!
These people must be psychic! They KNOW when we’re having sex! We CAN NOT ESCAPE!
Though to be fair to his mother; she’s a JYMIL, so can’t hold it against her too much…. and she waited till we were done and dressed at least.
Since we’ve gotten used to this over the years, we’ve opted to unplug the landline and have both our phones on mute, but this time was a spontaneous quicky, so didn’t think about it.