So for a little context to begin – this is very recent. 9-10 of us from work decided to go out for dinner and drinks. There’s a dude I’ve been working with who I’d place into the nice category of ‘gentlemanly horny’, meaning, you’ll catch him occasionally checking out your ass and you can tell he’s as horny as hell, but he’s very respectful and wouldn’t overstep boundaries. Until now.
After dinner, the group of us were a few drinks in, and naturally, boundaries diminish. I could see him wanting to talk to me a little more and he eventually came over and asked if he could tell me something, even if it’s “borderline inappropriate.” It went something along the lines of “Okay, so confession time… I had to wank (jerk off term in the UK) the minute I got home after I saw your red, frilly thong. Sorry. Just had to tell you.”
Now, I could have done a number of things with this. I think the few months I’ve been on Reddit prepared me for the comment and I took a few moments to really respond. I tried to look a little uncomfortable without wanting to grin. I took it as a compliment after all. I gave him a bit of a ‘pity’ laugh as I began typing on my phone.
Things got awkward (for him), pretty quickly. I hid my phone screen and told him “I’m scrolling through our companies harassment policy. It includes anything outside of the workplace, like unwanted advances.” His face dropped. He began to stutter and started to sweat. I knew I had him here. I asked if he was ready to read what I’d found to back up my claim. His rambling intensified and his attempts to try and apologise were rolling in rapidly.
I angled my phone towards him. I knew, immediately, that I had a nude photo in that same red thong. I asked him to come closer and “read” what I had to show him.
I showed him the nude on the screen.
For 10 seconds (which felt like a minute), his jaw totally dropped. After that, I locked my phone screen. I leaned in and said “now, you’ll have something to go home and wank over. Tonight’s orgasm is on me and we will never discuss this again.”
I went to the bathroom and when I came back – he was utterly speechless – STILL. He froze. He couldn’t believe what had happened. I hope he came damn hard that night.